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HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 



LAST THROUGH LIFE 

Kill Hi 


By 

ALEXANDER L, WADE 



"TWO HEARTS THAT BEAT AS OKW’ 



































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HOW TO MAKE 
THE HONEYMOON LAST 
THROUGH LIFE 

























































HOW TO MAKE 
THE HONEYMOON LAST 
THROUGH LIFE 


BY 

ALEXANDER L. WADE 


Till Hymen brought the love-delighted hour. 
There dwelt no joy in Eden’s rosy bower; 

The world was sad, the garden was a wild, 

And man, the hermit, sighed till woman smiled. 


PHILADELPHIA 

PRINTED BY J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY 

1903 




Copyright, 1903 
By Alexander L. Wade 


By trsosfe* 

19 Ap # 05 



HOW TO MAKE 
THE HONEYMOON LAST 
THROUGH LIFE 


“ It is not good that man should be alone.” 


Bible. 



HE sublime mission of this tiny vol- 


ume is to give instruction in the art 
of making the honeymoon last through 
life. There is no subject pertaining to 
this life alone so essential to human hap¬ 
piness as the perpetuation of the honey¬ 
moon. It stands second in interest only 
to “ good tidings of great joy” pro¬ 
claimed to the shepherds upon the hills of 
Judea. 

God, who is good, certainly never in- 


6 HOW TO MAKE TPlE HONEYMOON 


tended that the best love and highest joys 
of wedded life should be crowded into a 
few short weeks of honeymoon, and that 
later on, when children are being reared 
around the family fireside, looking to 
father and mother as their highest ideals, 
this love and these joys should be grow¬ 
ing less as the years go by. 

This little volume is not an experiment; 
it is simply the outgrowth and enlarge¬ 
ment of a lecture upon the same subject 
prepared by the author, and delivered at 
sundry times and in divers places. The 
composition of his audiences in attendance 
upon this lecture proved conclusively that 
the doctrine of the perpetuation of the 
honeymoon is interesting alike to all 
classes. This leads the author to believe 
that it is as universal in its application as 
the Gospel of the “ Man of Galilee.” 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 


In the discussion of this subject it is not 
the purpose of the author to set up a 
standard which no one has ever reached 
and to which no one can ever attain. He 
proposes rather to lay down one simple 
law of life with three several requirements 
which all can understand, and which, if 
observed, will not only perpetuate the 
honeymoon, but will lead to that which is 
better than honeymoon. 

Now, the author asks permission to 
speak to his readers as if face to face with 
sons and daughters. 

In making preparation for the discus¬ 
sion of this subject I relied very little 
upon what has been written in books. I 
chose rather to obtain information direct 
from intelligent people. Much of what 
has been written upon this subject is only 
theory,—most of it is stale,—while inf or- 





HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 


8 


mation obtained direct from intelligent 
people is like unto pure water fresh from 
the fountain. 

I may be permitted here to acknowledge 
that in the preparation of the pith and gist 
of the matter contained in this little vol¬ 
ume the major helps which I received were 
from women, while the minor helps were 
from men. This confession is not a criti¬ 
cism upon the sterner sex, for it is no want 
of compliment to either of the sexes to 
say that each excels the other in certain 
elements of both body and brain. 

As a rule, man excels in strength and 
woman in beauty; man’s judgment is su¬ 
perior to woman’s judgment on questions 
of law, while woman’s conclusions are 
superior to man’s on questions of love. 

After this slight digression I return to 
my subject in order to present the opinions 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 


9 


of some cultured people concerning what 
I had long believed to be an invariable law 
of life,—the keynote in the perpetuation 
of the honeymoon,—which law I had laid 
down in these words: 

“ The longer a well-matched couple live 
together the better they will love each 
other.” 

In a town of some pretensions, situated 
upon the banks of a Southern river a little 
less than one degree distant from Mason 
and Dixon’s Line, I had an invitation to 
take supper with an interesting family. 
After the meal had been served and en¬ 
joyed and the children had been excused 
from the table, I was left alone in conver¬ 
sation with Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis, the 
father and mother of the children. 

In the course of the conversation the 
mother said: 





HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 


10 


“ Mr. Wade, I see in the papers that 
you are preparing a lecture on ‘ How to 
Make the Honeymoon Last Through 
Life.’ The title is certainly good.” 

“ Yes,” said Mr. Jarvis; “ if the lecture 
is as good as the title, every one should 
hear it.” 

“ Do tell us something about it,” said 
Mrs. Jarvis. “ What is it like?” 

Responding to this request of my host¬ 
ess I said, “ I have laid down a single law 
with only one requirement, and I want you 
and your husband to tell me whether that 
law will hold good.” 

“ Let us hear that law,” said Mrs. Jar¬ 
vis. 

I repeated, slowly and distinctly, the 
words, “ The longer a well-matched couple 
live together the better they will love each 
other.” 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 11 


“What do you think of that?” said I. 

“Well,” said she, “it seems as if it 
ought to be that way.” 

Turning to the husband I asked, 
“ What do you say to that, Mr. Jar- 
vis?” 

Looking Mrs. Jarvis in the face, he 
said, “Wife, that’s the way it is.” 

The wife turned her eyes upon her hus¬ 
band ; it was but a glance, and though she 
uttered not a word, her expression seemed 
to say, “Now, I wonder if that is what 
you really believe.” 

Continuing the conversation, she said, 
“ That law will hold good with people who 
have been well raised, but many have been 
so badly raised that to me it appears im¬ 
possible to so match them as to make love 
last. You can safely say, ‘ The longer a 
well-raised and well-matched couple live 






HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 


12 


together, the better they will love each 
other.’ ” 

Becoming convinced that to be well 
raised is an essential element in the per¬ 
petuation of the honeymoon, I added 
another requirement to the law laid down, 
putting the same thought in another form, 
making it read as follows: 

“ In order to make the honeymoon last 
through life the couple should be 

“ 1. Well raised. 

“ 2. Well matched.” 

Only a fortnight after the foregoing 
incident I received an invitation to a 
fashionable dinner given by a distin¬ 
guished family at their colonial home, 
situated in one of the most beautiful val¬ 
leys of the Southland. The husband and 
wife were known far and wide as perfect 
entertainers and dispensers of the most 
generous hospitality. 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 


13 


After the courses had all been served 
and the toasts had been responded to, our 
hostess, Mrs. Faulkner, a queenly woman, 
wearing as her crown of glory the silver 
of years, said, “ I see in some of the 
public prints that one of the guests at our 
table is preparing a lecture entitled ‘ How 
to Make the Honeymoon Last Through 
Life/ and I will ask him to tell us some¬ 
thing about it.” As there seemed to be a 
desire on the part of the guests to hear 
something upon the subject of the honey¬ 
moon, our host, Mr. Faulkner, said, “ Mr. 
Wade is now at liberty to speak for our 
entertainment.” 

Addressing the assembled company, I 
said, “In discussing the subject of the 
perpetuation of the honeymoon, I have 
laid down a single law with only two 
requirements, which law I think is true 





HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 


14 


to life; and I wish to ask, in turn, our 
host and hostess and the guests around 
the table to tell me whether this law will 
hold good in life. The law laid down is: 

“ The longer a well-raised and well- 
matched couple live together the better 
they will love each other.” 

Turning to the host, who was distin¬ 
guished as a statesman, a diplomat, and 
an attorney-at-law, I said, “ Mr. Faulk¬ 
ner, is that good law?” 

He hesitated but a moment, and then, 
turning his eyes upon his wife, who sat 
at the opposite end of the table, he replied: 
“ I can speak only from experience. I 
find it so in ourselves.” The wife’s face 
brightened with a tinge of surprise, but 
more of pleasure, that her husband had 
made this confession, and she gracefully 
acknowledged the compliment. 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 


15 


I next addressed myself to our hostess. 
“ Mrs. Faulkner,” said I, “ will that law 
hold good in life?” 

“ That law,” said she, “ is good as far 
as it goes, but much depends upon man¬ 
agement. Serious as the charge may 
seem, it is nevertheless true that most 
couples, awhile after marriage, lay aside, 
in a large degree, those fine courtesies and 
gentle graces that lend such charms to 
courtship. They give greater attention 
to their friends than they give to each 
other. This course, which would have 
produced a break in courtship, can do 
nothing less than chill the ardor in their 
veins.” 

Addressing myself, now, to the guests, 
I said, “What think you all of this law? 
Will it hold good?” Like unto a jury 
which renders its verdict without retiring 





16 HOW TO MAKE THE HONEYMOON 


to its room for consultation, these guests 
then and there decided that with Mrs. 
Faulkner’s requirement,—good manage¬ 
ment after marriage,—which they ac¬ 
cepted without hesitation, the law is 
complete, and they asked me to state it 
as it now stands. This I did in these 
words: 

“ In order to make the honeymoon last 
through life the couple should be 

“ 1. Well raised. 

“2. Well matched. 

“ 3. Well managed.” 





LAST THROUGH LIFE 


17 


WELL RAISED 

“ Train up a child in the way he should go.” 

Bible. 

I NOW proceed to discuss, in turn, the 
three several requirements for the 
perpetuation of the honeymoon. 

First: In order to make the honey¬ 
moon last through life 

THE COUPLE SHOULD BE WELL RAISED. 

Young people who have been reared in 
idleness are not well raised. They seldom 
become diligent in business, and they are 
rarely capable of taking care of money, 
even if it come to them by inheritance. 





18 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


Numbers of young men in Europe who 
boast of royal blood and who have been 
raised in idleness are unable to make a 
living and have no future before them. 
In contradistinction to this, permit me 
to mention the fact that the six children 
of the present King and the late Queen 
of Denmark were all taught to work. 
Three of these six children are now num¬ 
bered among the crowned heads of Eu¬ 
rope. The second son, George I., is King 
of Greece. Two daughters, Alexandra, 
Queen of England, and Dagmar, Em¬ 
press Dowager of Russia, the mother of 
the present Czar, Nicholas II., were 
trained by the Queen-Mother, Louise, in 
the art of needlework, domestic cookery, 
and other wifely accomplishments; and 
in such demand, in the matrimonial mar¬ 
ket, did her daughters become that Queen 





BE WELL RAISED 


19 


Louise has been wittily called “ the 
mother-in-law of Europe.” 

Our sons should be imbued with the 
sentiment contained in these words of 
Holy Writ: 

“If any provide not for his own, and 
specially for those of his own house, he 
hath denied the faith, and is worse than 
an infidel.” 

Our daughters should be trained to fol¬ 
low the footsteps of that woman of old 
of whom it is written: 

“ She looketh well to the ways of her 
household, and eateth not the bread of 
idleness.” 

These two passages of Scripture need 
no interpretation. 

Our sons should be taught gallantry, 
which is an element of manhood, but not 
an attribute of womanhood. Throughout 





THE COUPLE SHOULD 


life, in a large degree, man must please 
by what he does, while woman pleases by 
what she is. 

Our sons should be taught that next to 
their duty to God is their loyalty to good 
women. They should be impressed with 
the fact that they are the protectors of 
woman, and that unfair treatment of her 
is the betrayal of the highest trust. They 
should be taught that they ought to be as 
true and pure as they expect their sisters 
and sweethearts to be. 

The father and mother must stand as 
the embodiment of all that they wish their 
sons and daughters to be. 

Having presented several subjects upon 
which young people should receive instruc¬ 
tion, as essential helps to the perpetuation 
of the honeymoon, let me now mention 
some serious hinderances to the same. 





BE WELL RAISED 


21 


Much of what our young people see and 
hear has a tendency to shatter their con¬ 
fidence in the perpetuation of love. 

The public press teems with intimations 
that the honeymoon is of short duration, 
and some of the most popular lecturers 
upon the platform are fond of telling 
anecdotes which cast shadows upon mar¬ 
ried life. Very much of the fiction read 
by young people tells stories of unfaith¬ 
ful husbands and wives, and many theatres 
persist in presenting upon the stage rep¬ 
resentatives of married couples who are 
untrue to each other. 

The most pernicious example set be¬ 
fore the young is the conduct of married 
men and women who have made unfortu¬ 
nate matches. 

It is to be regretted that the early joys 
of married life were ever named honey- 





22 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


moon, since the moon is the most change¬ 
able of all the celestial bodies visible to the 
naked eye. These joys from beginning 
to end should have been named for the sun, 
the great orb of day. Think of a beau¬ 
tiful sunrise, a splendid noonday, and a 
golden sunset, and you have the highest 
emblem of the true married life. It is true 
that the brightness of the sun is sometimes 
obscured by clouds, but even then we know 
that it is shining on the other side and will 
soon be revealed through a rift in the 
clouds. 





BE WELL MATCHED 


WELL MATCHED 

* 

“ Be not unequally yoked.” 

Bible. 

S ECOND: In order to make the honey¬ 
moon last through life 

THE COUPLE SHOULD BE WELL MATCHED. 

The state of being well matched does 
not mean that in all things the two are 
alike. It means that each possesses at¬ 
tributes which are agreeable to the other, 
although these attributes may differ as the 
north pole of a magnet differs from its 
south pole. By an inexplicable law of 
nature, we all have our preferences. 
There are people whose presence gives 





THE COUPLE SHOULD 


24 


us pleasure, and there are others, equally 
good, whose presence gives us pain. 

An eminent divine, in addressing a 
great assemblage of preachers and a 
great audience of people, gave utterance 
to the most extreme sentiments upon this 
subject. He said: 

“ Jesus of Nazareth had His favorites. 
Of the twelve apostles—men of His own 
choosing—He preferred Peter, James, 
and John. We all have our likes and 
dislikes. Some people charm us while 
others chill us; and they are not respon¬ 
sible and we are not responsible. There 
are people I would like to have near me, 
and there are people I would like to have 
far away. There are people I would like 
to canonize, and there are people I would 
like to cannonade; and I am glad to know 
that in heaven there is to be plenty of 


room. 





BE WELL MATCHED 


25 


Extreme as the foregoing sentiments 
may appear, history records examples of 
matches made by outsiders where the dis¬ 
like of husband and wife for each other 
became equally extreme. 

A late number of an American maga¬ 
zine tells the story of a beautiful count¬ 
ess who a few years ago, at the dictation 
of others, married her cousin; and her 
dislike for him finally became so intense 
that she has chosen to suffer banishment 
from the German court rather than live 
under the same roof with her husband. 

I come now to consider matches which 
are congenial by natural affinity, and 
which merit the approval of parents and 
friends. 

The couple should be about equal in 
education, intelligence, taste, and social 
standing. By reading and conversation, 





26 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


and by the cultivation of their love of the 
beautiful, this equality should be fostered 
throughout life. If either excel the other 
in attainments, it is fortunate if that su¬ 
periority is found on the side of the one 
who is likely to have the principal care in 
the training of children. 

The couple should be well matched as to 
age—there should not be too much dis¬ 
parity of years. If a young woman marry 
an old man, she will probably be a widow 
in the prime of life. This point is well 
illustrated by a story told of a Southern 
planter in the days of slavery. The 
planter was a bachelor, fifty-six years of 
age, and he was engaged to a girl only 
eighteen. He had a colored servant who 
had been his housekeeper many years, and 
he decided to tell her of his coming mar¬ 
riage; so he said to her: 





BE WELL MATCHED 


27 


“Aunt Dinah, I’m going to be married 
soon.” 

“Who to, Marster?” asked she. He 
gave her the name of the prospective 
bride, whom she knew well, and_ then 
asked: 

“ What do you think of her?” 

“ She’s mighty nice,” said Dinah, “ but 
you’s too ole for her.” 

“ Why,” said he, “ I am just in my 
prime.” 

The brows of the old darky were knit as 
in deep thought for a moment, and she 
replied: 

“ But, Marster, when she gits to her 
prime whar’ll yo’ prime be?” 

The age at which young people should 
marry depends upon such a variety of 
circumstances that it is impossible to be 
specific. 





28 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


A couple should not marry until after 
their school period is ended. They should 
have sufficient money in sight with which 
to begin married life. The young man 
should have the ability to provide a living, 
and the young woman should possess those 
accomplishments which are essential to 
homekeeping. If they have inherited 
wealth, they need, alike, to understand the 
rules of business and the ways of the 
household. 

The average age at which university 
graduates marry, and especially those 
of the learned profession, is alarmingly 
late in life. Several heads of great uni¬ 
versities have been investigating with 
much interest the causes which lead to 
late marriages among their graduates. 

President Charles W. Eliot, of Har¬ 
vard University, in his late annual report,, 
says: 





BE WELL MATCHED 


“ The standard set up by the learned 
profession, at least in law and medicine, 
is so high, the requirements of preparation 
are so exacting, that late marriages or no 
marriages at all are becoming common.” 

He says, further: “In looking back¬ 
ward to a period thirty years in the past, 
I find that twenty-eight per cent, of the 
surviving members of the classes of 1872, 
’73, and ’74 are unmarried.” 

Two remedies have been suggested by 
university presidents which, if put into 
practice, would enable students to gradu¬ 
ate at an earlier age. 

President William R. Harper, of the 
Chicago University, says: 

“ There is no question but the young 
man should get out of college earlier than 
he does by at least two years. These two 
years ought to be made up in his ele- 





30 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


mentary education. The two years he 
would gain in this way would enable him 
to accumulate money to enable him to 
marry earlier.” 

President Nicholas Murray Butler, of 
Columbia University, New York, in 
speaking of the preparation for profes¬ 
sional schools, says: 

“ There should be a college course of 
two years in length, carefully constructed, 
as a thing in itself and not merely the first 
part of a three years’or four years’ course, 
which will enable professional students to 
spend this time as advantageously as pos¬ 
sible in purely liberal studies. The uni¬ 
versity colleges can establish such a course 
readily enough. A four years’ course 
should not be required, for the reason 
that it delays too long entrance upon 
active life j work.” 





BE WELL MATCHED 


31 


Dr. George F. Shrady, an eminent 
physician, said to a reporter of the New 
York Herald: 

“ From my personal knowledge of the 
medical profession, I do not believe that 
one young man in a hundred, when he is 
graduated and is licensed to practise, is 
in a position to marry and maintain a 
family. Given good abilities, good habits, 
industry, a thorough preliminary educa¬ 
tion, and post-graduate courses, not one 
young physician in fifty, at the age of 
thirty years, is really able to earn a proper 
living for himself, to say nothing of the 
maintenance of a wife and family. Ordi¬ 
narily, such a young man, however well 
equipped for his professional duties, if he 
depend upon his practice exclusively, will 
have to wait at least five years after taking 
his degree before he can, probably, sup- 





32 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


port himself; and these will be years call¬ 
ing for patience, courage, and hard work. 
The average physician, nowadays, unless 
he enjoy resources other than his profes¬ 
sion, is thirty-five or forty years old before 
he finds himself in position to marry.” 

Notwithstanding the fact that the 
opinions of some university presidents 
and eminent physicians may be to the 
contrary, I advise young men who are 
prepared to enter upon the practice of 
their professions to hesitate and consider 
before they decide to spend years in the 
accumulation of money as a preparation 
for marriage. There is danger that years 
of single life, devoted to work and to 
study, may do much to wither the ten¬ 
drils of love, cool the ardor of sentiment 
and romance, and make the subject of 
marriage a mere matter of business. 





BE WELL MATCHED 


33 


When God said, “ It is not good that 
man should be alone,” He uttered words 
which are as applicable to us as they were 
to Adam in the Garden of Eden. They 
were spoken without limitation. It ^is not 
good financially, any more than it is good 
intellectually, socially, or spiritually, for 
man to be alone. Our greatest financiers 
and millionaires are married men, not 
bachelors. 

Men are mistaken when they suppose 
that a woman has not sufficient self-denial 
to enjoy plain living, if necessary, with 
the man she loves. Many a sensible young 
woman, if asked to do so, would gladly 
unite her destiny with the man she loves 
just as he is entering upon his life-work, 
knowing that in helping her husband she 
would need, for a time, to exercise special 
prudence and foresight. 

3 





34 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


I wish here to present two pictures for 
the consideration of those who are pre¬ 
paring to practise one of the learned 
professions. 

A young man of liberal education and 
limited means, of good health and indus¬ 
trious habits, and who had just received 
his license, was seeking a location for the 
practice of medicine. With this object in 
view he visited a town of some three or 
four hundred inhabitants, situated not far 
from the Atlantic coast. 

By inquiry he learned from a citizen of 
the place the following facts: 

“ This town,” said the citizen, “ boasts 
of but one physician, an old-time doctor 
who has grown rich from his long prac¬ 
tice. He has never been known to push 
any of his debtors, but he makes annual 
settlements with all of them, and takes 





BE WELL MATCHED 


35 


notes, with interest from date, from each 
one who is not prepared to pay. Either 
from friendship for the doctor or from 
fear of giving offence, our people have 
given little encouragement to any x com¬ 
petitor. More than one worthy young 
man, in the past twenty years, has made 
an earnest effort to establish a practice in 
this town, but in each case he was starved 
out.” 

Our young physician was a man of 
courage, and he had no conception of 
obstacles which are insurmountable; so 
he proceeded to look for a boarding-place 
and a suitable room for an office. He 
found that he could have choice of sev¬ 
eral boarding-places, and for a time it 
seemed that he was on the eve of securing 
one of several rooms for an office, but this 
hope proved illusive. 





36 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


At this juncture a citizen of the town 
proposed to lease to him for a term of 
years a neat cottage which had never been 
occupied. This cottage with its ample 
grounds was situated upon a suburban 
elevation overlooking the town. As this 
appeared to be the only thing in sight, he 
leased the property for five years with the 
privilege of purchasing the same at the 
expiration of that time, or sooner, at a 
price agreed upon and entered of record. 

As the cottage contained more room 
than he needed for office purposes, he sat 
down to consider what use he should make 
of the remaining space, and he was not 
long in deciding what he would do. He 
was already engaged to the only daughter 
of a well-to-do farmer, and, as soon as 
his finances would justify, it was their 
purpose to consummate this engagement. 





BE WELL MATCHED 


37 


Though aware of the fact that, accord¬ 
ing to the expressed opinion of leading 
members of his profession, he was not 
prepared to marry, he resolved to ask his 
betrothed to become his bride at an 'early 
day. 

The lady of his choice was two years 
younger than himself, and had just re¬ 
turned from college, where she had taken 
her degree. Without unnecessary delay 
he called upon her, presented the situation, 
and proposed an early marriage. She ac¬ 
cepted his proposal in these glad words: 
“ It will be a joy to me to share some self- 
denial with the man I love.” 

The father and mother, when asked, 
gave their consent, and the wedding-day 
was fixed. It was a handsome couple 
and a happy wedding. The mother pre¬ 
sented her daughter with a complete out- 





38 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


fit for their cottage, and the father’s gift 
was a horse and buggy. 

Instead of going on a wedding-tour 
they went to their own home, where the 
wife became at once both housekeeper and 
queen. 

After a consultation, it was agreed that 
two rooms in the cottage could be spared 
for office purposes; so the young doctor 
ordered suitable furniture for the same. 

He next called upon the old doctor of 
the town and presented his credentials. 
He was received with professional cour¬ 
tesy, which later developed into real 
friendship. 

Ten years have elapsed since the mar¬ 
riage, and this town has now a population 
of over three thousand inhabitants. It is 
a noted summer resort, and our young 
physician has a large paying practice, 





BE WELL MATCHED 39 


especially among the rich who come here 
in quest of health. The cottage has been 
paid for, and a front addition of architec¬ 
tural beauty has been completed. 

On an ideal day in the month of June, a 
stranger registered at the new hotel which 
had just been opened. He was a gentle¬ 
man of striking presence and evident cul¬ 
ture. In looking in the directory his eye 
caught the name of a former classmate in 
the medical college—the young doctor of 
the town. He delayed not to make in¬ 
quiry as to where he could find the young 
physician, and he was directed to the 
“ cottage on the hill,” the name which the 
residence still retains, although it occupies 
only a gentle elevation in sight of the sea. 

The stranger entered the front gate and 
went up the walk, which had on either side 
a border of young shade-trees and shrub- 





40 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


bery. As he drew near the cottage he saw 
a profusion of vines and flowers, and he 
heard the merry laughter and glad voices 
of children. 

The maid-servant answered his call at 
the door, and he asked, “ Is the doctor in?” 

The maid replied: “ This is the doctor’s 
office-hour and he is engaged with pa¬ 
tients. Do you wish to see him on busi¬ 
ness?” 

“ I wish to see him as a friend,” said 
the stranger. 

The maid ushered him into the parlor 
and announced his arrival to the mistress 
of the house. 

The ease and grace with which the lady 
entered the parlor and introduced herself 
as the doctor’s wife indicated that she was 
accustomed to meeting strangers. 

After handing her his card he said, “ I 





BE WELL MATCHED 


41 


was a classmate of your husband in the 
medical college. I have not seen him since 
we graduated together, and I have called 
to-day to renew our acquaintance.” / 

She assured him that he was most wel¬ 
come ; that it always afforded her pleasure 
to meet the friends of her husband, and 
she asked him to be at ease for half an 
hour, when the doctor would be at liberty 
to see him. In order to create a pleasant 
surprise the doctor had not been informed 
of his friend’s arrival. 

The love of David and Jonathan for 
each other is emphasized in the Bible, and 
we are too apt to think of it as a case with¬ 
out a parallel. If we but open our eyes 
upon college life alone we will see like 
examples of equal love of men for each 
other. The two who, after a separation 
of ten years, are now about to meet were 





42 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


lovers at college, and when the doctor en¬ 
tered the parlor and recognized his college 
classmate there was a greeting such as only 
love can give. The wife, too, came into 
the parlor and was introduced, this time 
by her husband. Their three children— 
one in arms—were brought in, one son 
and two daughters. The mother repeated 
their names in the order of their ages and 
said, “ These are our jewels.” 

The friend was cordially invited to re¬ 
main and take dinner with them, and he 
heartily accepted the invitation. The wife 
excused herself and went to superintend 
the preparation for the entertainment of 
their guest, while the two college chums 
talked over their individual experiences of 
the past ten years. The conversation 
brought out the facts that the guest was 
still unmarried; that each was a well- 





BE WELL MATCHED 


43 


known physician and surgeon, with a pay¬ 
ing practice, in the place where he was 
located; that the married man had en¬ 
joyed a good practice from the beginning, 
while the single man, for the first five 
years, made but little more than a bare 
living for himself. 

At this juncture the wife returned to 
the parlor and announced that dinner was 
ready. They accompanied her to the 
dining-room, where a repast “fit for a 
king” was placed before them, and at 
which the hostess presided with dignity 
and grace. 

When the meal was finished and while 
the trio still sat at the table the guest said, 
“ Please tell me, for I want to know, how 
you got so good a start in so short a time 
in the practice of medicine?” 

In responding to this question our host, 





44 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


with a significant glance at his wife, re¬ 
plied: “You see, I had a partner who was 
specially popular with young people. She 
took an active part in young people’s so¬ 
cieties, social, literary, and religious, as she 
had been accustomed to do while in col¬ 
lege. Though for a time she was her own 
housekeeper, she answered the calls of 
those who came to see me in my absence, 
and she accompanied to my office many a 
timid one who came for consultation. By 
her artless manner and kindly sympathy 
she wielded an influence of which she was 
altogether unconscious, and it is impos¬ 
sible for me to estimate the value of this 
unconscious influence upon my practice as 
a physician. But this is not all; my wife 
has helped to make my work enjoyable, 
and the children which have been given us 
have not only strengthened our love for 





BE WELL MATCHED 


45 


each other, but they have made life more 
and more worth the living.” 

After a few moments of almost breath¬ 
less silence the guest, in a voice tender 
with emotion, thus addressed the hostess: 
“ I think, now, that I made a grave mis¬ 
take when I decided not to marry ten years 
ago, as did your husband. The way was 
then open for me to do so, but I took the 
advice of those who were older and, I sup¬ 
posed, wiser. I am now wedded to my 
profession, and it is a matter of serious 
doubt as to whether I shall ever take to 
myself a wife.” 

I come now to consider the most ro¬ 
mantic period in human life—courtship. 
Courtship is like the dipping of the mag¬ 
netic needle before it settles. It is a 
time of interesting anxiety. It is a period 
of pleasurable uncertainty. In true court- 





46 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


ship, there is a natural coyness which tends 
to concealment, and it is this element which 
lends to courtship much of its charm. Ob¬ 
servation proves that innocent deception is 
practised even by the birds of the forest 
while choosing their mates. 

It is a wise provision in the law of na¬ 
ture that the couple should remain non¬ 
committal until they become satisfied that 
they are suited to each other; and it is cer¬ 
tainly less painful to break a courtship 
when the interested parties have not com¬ 
mitted themselves. 

When a young lady and gentleman, 
meeting for the first time, are mutually 
attracted, it is said to be a case of “ love 
at first sight.” Love at first sight may 
indicate only that the couple are congenial 
by natural affinity, while in several essen¬ 
tial elements they may be totally unsuited 





BE WELL MATCHED 


47 


to each other. Many unfortunate matches 
have been hastily made from love at first 
sight. This is, indeed, a risk which should 
never be taken. 

Every marriage should be preceded by 
a courtship neither too short nor too long. 
The shortest courtship which can safely 
precede a marriage is one in which the two 
have known each other from childhood 
or youth, and where the members of both 
families have long been upon the most 
friendly terms. In most marriages, how¬ 
ever, which have been consummated, the 
knowledge that the parties had of each 
other at the beginning of their courtship 
was quite limited. 

The gentleman in most cases has the ad¬ 
vantage, since he usually sees the lady at 
her own home. He thus has an oppor¬ 
tunity to learn something of the home-life 





48 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


of herself and family, and to become 
acquainted with her most intimate asso¬ 
ciates. 

A beautiful custom, by no means uni¬ 
versal, provides that the one whose hand 
is sought shall be the invited guest of the 
ladies of the suitor’s household, in order 
that the sources of her information may 
be equal to his. 

Long years of waiting are likely to chill 
the glow of the purest love. It is a no¬ 
ticeable fact that long courtships and long 
engagements seldom result in marriage. 

There is one practice in courtship which 
cannot be too severely condemned. It is 
that of a young man who carries on a 
protracted courtship with a young lady, 
winning her affections, and at the same 
time keeping her in doubt as to whether 
it is his intention ever to make her his wife. 





BE WELL MATCHED 


49 


In a case of this kind—if it be the young 
lady’s wish to retain her suitor—there are 
only two remedies, both of which are so 
delicate that custom scarcely sanctions 
either. The first is for the father or 
mother to ask the young man to declare 
his intentions concerning the daughter, 
and the second is for the daughter to 
ascertain for herself. 

I present, as an example, the following 
incident which was related to me by one 
of the participants. 

Ruth Marshall, a beautiful girl, reared 
in the atmosphere of a college town in one 
of the Middle Atlantic States, had at¬ 
tained the age when she was permitted 
to receive company. Vinton Austin, a 
young business man of her acquaintance, 
began at once to wait upon her. 

The families of the couple were of 
4 





50 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


equal standing, and there was no objec¬ 
tion on either side to the courtship. The 
gentleman continued his attentions month 
after month and year after year, and, 
apparently, was a devoted lover. 

As Miss Marshall grew in years she in¬ 
creased in beauty. It was the beauty of 
culture. Her knowledge of music, vocal 
and instrumental, together with other 
gifts and graces, made her a social 
favorite. Her suitor had no rivals, for 
the young men of her acquaintance rec¬ 
ognized her as the fiancee of Vinton 
Austin. 

The years in which most women marry 
—if they marry at all—were passing, and 
her suitor had neither proposed marriage 
nor hinted at an engagement. Her par¬ 
ents, understanding the situation, had sev¬ 
eral times urged her to dismiss him, but 





BE WELL MATCHED 


51 


she was unwilling to do so, for he had led 
her to believe that he loved her. 

At this critical juncture in family 
affairs the mother expressed a determi¬ 
nation to ask the gentleman, upon his 
next visit, to declare his intentions. The 
daughter was horrified at her mother’s re¬ 
solve, and entreated her most earnestly not 
to take such a step. When she found her 
mother inflexible, her heart sank within 
her; but soon it seemed that a good angel 
appeared to strengthen her, and she said, 
“I, myself, must assume this responsi¬ 
bility, for I can speak to Vinton Austin 
as no one else can.” 

Throughout the years of their entire 
courtship Ruth Marshall had entertained 
a lover’s firm belief that her suitor in¬ 
tended at some time to make her his wife, 
but the bitter cup which she had just 





52 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


tasted had in a measure sobered her brain. 
As the eyes of her understanding opened 
she saw the utter unfairness of Vinton 
Austin’s conduct in keeping her for so 
long a time in doubt as to his intentions, 
and her love for him began to give place 
to indifference. 

The time was approaching for Vinton 
Austin to make his accustomed visit. 
Ruth Marshall had been thinking of 
his long and devoted attentions and her 
heart had grown tender. She felt con¬ 
demned that in his absence she had un¬ 
kindly judged him, even in her own heart, 
and she was glad to give him an oppor¬ 
tunity to declare his purpose. 

True to his promise, Vinton Austin 
called upon Miss Marshall at the time 
appointed and was cordially received. 
She appeared more beautiful than ever 





BE WELL MATCHED 


53 


before. In the course of the evening’s 
conversation she asked, half playfully, 
“ Do you suppose we shall ever be 
married?” 

There was a momentary silence, and 
Vinton Austin replied: “One thing I 
have often thought of telling you. When 
I first began business I determined to save 
twenty thousand dollars before I would 
marry, and I have not yet one-half of that 
amount.” 

“All right,” said Miss Marshall, and she 
changed the subject of conversation. 

When the time came for him to leave 
she extended her hand and, in a sweet voice, 
said, “ I will now bid you good-by. May 
you reach the goal of your ambition— 
twenty thousand dollars. I shall not ex¬ 
pect you to visit me again.” 

A clap of thunder from a clear sky 





54 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


would not have been a greater surprise 
than were Ruth Marshall’s words dis¬ 
missing him as her suitor. 

As he walked home alone under the 
light of the stars it seemed to him that 
he had just awakened from some horrid 
dream. 

Upon reaching home he retired, but 
could not sleep until after he had reached 
the conclusion that Ruth Marshall would 
surely relent and invite him to visit her 
again. He did not abandon this hope 
until he learned that she had a new suitor 
—a gentleman near her own age, a lead¬ 
ing member of one of the learned profes¬ 
sions. 

A year later Vinton Austin received an 
invitation to Ruth Marshall’s wedding. 
The occasion was a brilliant affair, and 
congratulations were showered upon the 





BE WELL MATCHED 


55 


happy couple. Vinton Austin went for¬ 
ward and wished them joy, but there was 
neither elasticity in his step nor emphasis 
in his voice. To him the occasion seemed 
more like a funeral than a wedding. 

Some years after these events occurred 
Vinton Austin, in telling the story of his 
courtship and Ruth Marshall’s marriage, 
said, “ I have never since seen a lady that 
I could love. Had Ruth Marshall dis¬ 
carded me without giving me a chance, 
I could have forgotten her; but the fact 
that she had the courage to give me an 
opportunity proved that she belonged to 
the nobility.” 

Vinton Austin’s conduct in this case is 
by no means without a parallel, but all 
young men of noble principle will readily 
admit that his treatment of Ruth Mar¬ 
shall, who had so long trusted him, was 





56 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


dishonorable in the extreme, and that it 
was base ingratitude to bring such embar¬ 
rassment to a home in which he had so 
often been entertained. 

Every courtship, whether or not it ends 
in marriage, should leave a pleasing mem¬ 
ory. 

The climax of the subject, well matched, 
is the marriage. The wedding is the crown¬ 
ing glory of the courtship—the introduc¬ 
tion to the honeymoon. 

I can offer no higher proof that mar¬ 
riage is a holy ordinance than the fact that 
the Bible is rich in references to wed¬ 
dings and wedding-garments, to brides 
and bridegrooms. No social gathering 
in human history was ever more highly 
honored than the marriage in Cana of 
Galilee, where Jesus, His mother, and 
His disciples were present as invited 





BE WELL MATCHED 


57 


guests, and where Jesus performed His 
first miracle. 

While the couple are planning the de¬ 
tails of their approaching marriage, little 
advice can properly be given them. It is 
not out of place, however, to say that their 
wedding expenses should not be such as to 
embarrass them after marriage. I ven¬ 
ture, also, to offer an additional word of 
advice concerning a matter which is too 
often neglected. The couple should so 
plan that on their wedding-day they may 
be at their best, both physically and men¬ 
tally. 

Whether they have a quiet family wed¬ 
ding or whether they have an elaborate 
affair, this and all other questions concern¬ 
ing the coming event should be settled by 
the personal preference of the parties 
themselves. This personal preference, or 





58 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


individual taste, affords variety in decora¬ 
tion and dress akin to the infinite variety 
found in the flowers of the field. 

The hour for the wedding has arrived, 
and we see the couple at the marriage altar 
plighting their faith each to the other, and 
when the words pronouncing them hus¬ 
band and wife have been uttered, we have 
witnessed one of the most intensely inter¬ 
esting events in human life. 





BE WELL MANAGED 


59 


WELL MANAGED 

* 

64 They twain shall be one flesh.” 

Bible. 

T HIRD: In order to make the honey¬ 
moon last through life 

THE COUPLE SHOULD BE WELL MANAGED. 

The newly married couple should go to 
their own home, and not remain with the 
parents of either. In order that they may 
be essential to each other, they should be 
alone. 

Victor Hugo’s allusion to the young 
married couple when first left to them¬ 
selves borders upon the sublime. He says, 
44 If, at this supreme hour, the pair ren¬ 
dered sacred by love and knowing them- 





60 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


selves to be alone were to listen, they 
would hear in their chamber a confused 
rustling of wings, for perfect happiness 
always implies the presence of angels. 
This little alcove has an entire heaven 
for its ceiling. There is no joy above 
their joy, and all the rest weeps.” 

In ancient times, when war was the 
principal occupation, it was a custom 
among the Jews that during the first year 
after marriage a man should “ not go out 
to war.” He was, for that period, to be 
“ free at home to cheer up his wife which 
he,had taken.” 

The first year of married life may prop¬ 
erly be called the critical period. Up to 
the time of marriage the couple have per¬ 
haps seen little of each other except as 
lovers, when both were anxious to please, 
and life in each other’s company was a joy. 





BE WELL MANAGED 


61 


If, after marriage, they conclude that their 
“ fortune is now made,” and cease their 
efforts to please each other, they need not 
be surprised if their married life prove 
to be a disappointment. In order to per¬ 
petuate the honeymoon the couple should 
never stop courting so long as they live. 

When they enter their own home for 
the first time, the wife should be given 
entire charge of household affairs, and the 
husband should become chief of his de¬ 
partment. Here an imaginary line should 
be drawn and each should accept the duties 
assigned and not encroach upon the other. 
Of course, there is common interest, and 
there should be consultation and sympa¬ 
thy. There is one rule which, if observed, 
will always bring pleasure—namely, work 
well done by either should always elicit 
praise from the other. 





THE COUPLE SHOULD 


In their daily intercourse they should 
not lay aside those graces which are the 
marks of refinement. It is said of Ed¬ 
ward Everett, that scholarly gentleman, 
that in all his busy life he was never in 
so much of a hurry that he did not rise 
and give his wife a chair when she entered 
his room. For such gallantry shown to 
a wife our admiration would be none the 
less though the husband be attired in the 
plainest clothing. 

If, while looking to the ways of her 
household and clad in a simple gown, the 
wife wear upon her breast either a pretty 
pin, a bright ribbon, or a beautiful flower, 
she will greatly increase her attractions in 
the eyes of her husband. 

In case the husband’s duties require him 
for a time to be located at a distant point, 
the wife should not allow the allurements 





BE WELL MANAGED 


63 


of friends to cause her to remain with 
them and let her husband go alone. His¬ 
tory records no higher example of whole¬ 
some advice upon this subject than the 
counsel given by Robert E. Lee, later the 
great Southern commander, to the young 
wife of Winfield Scott Hancock, after¬ 
wards one of the noted generals of the 
North. 

In a volume entitled “ Reminiscences of 
Winfield Scott Hancock”—by his wife— 
we learn something of the self-denial re¬ 
quired to enable a young wife to leave 
the brilliant attractions at the National 
Capital and accompany her husband be¬ 
yond the pale of society. 

The following extract from these 
“ Reminiscences” shows how strong were 
these attractions and how opportune the 
advice of General Lee: 





64 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


“ Late in the fifties Mr. Hancock, then 
a captain, stationed at Benecia, California, 
received a leave of absence and returned 
to the East by way of the Isthmus for the 
purpose of escorting his family to the 
Pacific coast. A short sojourn of two 
months, most delightfully spent with his 
family and friends in Washington City, 
brought him to the close of this indul¬ 
gence. 

“As I refer to those days,” says Mrs. 
Hancock, “ so rich in memories and remi¬ 
niscences of men and women who at that 
time occupied the most honorable and dis¬ 
tinguished positions in the Government, 
and who were destined to play so impor¬ 
tant a part in the great drama that so soon 
followed, I may be pardoned if I digress 
a little in giving them a passing notice. 

“Miss Harriet Lane, mistress of the 





BE WELL MANAGED 


65 


White House, with her personal charms 
and courtly manners, was a universal 
favorite, and did great credit to Mr. 
Buchanan’s administration. Mrs. Davis, 
wife of the Secretary of War, Jefferson 
Davis, whom I well remember, was en¬ 
dowed with many remarkable qualities 
that made her eminently fitted to be a pre¬ 
siding genius, and her entertainments 
brought together the most cultivated class 
of Washington society. Mrs. Joe John¬ 
ston was another shining light in the great 
capital, a person of unusual intelligence 
and quick at repartee, which made her 
most fascinating in conversation. Her 
charming reunions are long to be remem¬ 
bered by those who were admitted within 
this charmed circle. 

“ How well do I remember General 
Robert E. Lee, then a major, who was 

5 





66 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


stationed in Washington at that time. He 
was the beau-ideal of a soldier and a gen¬ 
tleman. When bidding us 4 good-by’ and 
‘ Godspeed,’ upon the eve of our depart¬ 
ure, he said to me, 4 I understand that you 
contemplate deserting your post, which is 
by your husband’s side, and that you are 
not going to California with him. If you 
will pardon me, I should like to give you 
a little advice. You must not think of 
doing this. As one considerably older 
than Hancock, and having had greater 
experience, I consider it fatal to the fu¬ 
ture happiness of young married people, 
upon small provocation, to live apart 
either for a short or long time. The re¬ 
sult is invariably that they cease to be 
essential to each other. Now promise me 
that you will not permit him to sail with¬ 
out you.’ 





BE WELL MANAGED 


67 


“ The sequel/’ says Mrs. Hancock, 
“ shows how faithfully I sought to fol¬ 
low that noble man’s admonition, and how 
often in my varied experience I had occa¬ 
sion to transmit to others his disinterested, 
truthful convictions.” 

There is an experience in the lives of 
most married couples which, if properly 
improved, increases the love of husband 
and wife for each other to a degree un¬ 
known in the earlier joys of the honey¬ 
moon. I refer to the time when children 
are being reared around the family fire¬ 
side, looking to father and mother as their 
highest ideals. The united love, wisdom, 
and skill of both are at that time essential, 
and business should not so monopolize the 
father’s time that the responsibility of 
training the children will be almost or 
altogether imposed upon the mother. 






68 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


Many fathers are absent from their 
families so much of the time that when 
they visit their homes they seem like guests 
rather than heads of the household. The 
following humorous incident illustrating 
this point appears in an American maga¬ 
zine. 

A commercial traveller, who had a wife 
and several small children, so planned his 
trips that he could reach home late on 
Saturday evenings and leave home early 
on Monday mornings. He took Sunday 
literally as a day of rest, and remained in 
bed most of the time, except when at his 
meals. Upon one occasion he was at home 
on a week-day, attending to some business, 
and on leaving he saw one of his children, 
a lad five or six years old, in the front yard 
cutting up some capers. He gave the 
boy’s ears a sound boxing and went on 





BE WELL MANAGED 


his way. The boy resented the indignity 
and called loudly for his mother. When 
she appeared at the front door and asked, 
“ What’s the matter, Johnny?” the boy, 
with face flushed with rage, replied: 
“ That red-headed man that stays at our 
house Sundays boxed my ears.” 

If such conduct as that of the aforesaid 
husband and father be persisted in, it 
would not be surprising if the result 
should be a total and continuous eclipse 
of the honeymoon. 

If the married couple have as their ideal 
a honeymoon of only a few short weeks, 
it is not at all likely to last through life. 
They should have, instead, as their ideal 
a life-long honeymoon and live for its 
perpetuation. 

Unfortunate matches are constantly 
paraded in the public prints and form 





70 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


the topic of conversation in certain circles, 
while mention is seldom made of those 
whose unchanging love has stood the test 
of time. “A cloud of witnesses/’ if called 
upon, could testify that, with them, the 
honeymoon has lasted for a decade, for a 
score of years, even for half a century. 

The following incident is a beautiful 
example of the continuation of love: A 
couple who had recently celebrated their 
golden wedding lived in a cosey home in 
a rural district. The children were all 
married and settled within easy reach of 
the parental home. Some of their children 
and grandchildren were with them most of 
the time. This aged couple were almost 
inseparable. When the husband returned 
at any time from looking over the farm 
he always went to the door of his wife’s 
room, and it mattered not how many were 





BE WELL MANAGED 


71 


in the room, if his wife were not in sight, 
he would invariably ask, “Where are all 
the folks?” 

The concluding topic of this tiny vol¬ 
ume is an answer to the question, If, from 
indifference, the honeymoon has waned 
and the fires of love have been quenched, 
can the one be renewed and the other 
rekindled ? 

I herewith give as an illustration an 
incident from real life. 

Farmer Tucker was the owner of a 
small estate in New England, and was 
industrious and thrifty. At the age of 
thirty he married a lady somewhat 
younger than himself—the daughter of 
a neighboring farmer. They went on a 
wedding-tour to Boston—the first time 
that either of them had seen that “ City 
of Culture.” On their return they at 





72 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


once began housekeeping, and for a time 
their happiness was complete. The wife 
was her own housekeeper, a work for 
which she was well fitted, and the husband 
looked after the affairs of the farm. 

Only a few months after their marriage 
the husband suggested that, as they lived 
within two miles of town, they might as 
well increase the number of their Jersey 
cows and carry on a small dairy, thereby 
adding to their income. The wife con¬ 
sented to the new arrangement, but was 
surprised when her husband told her that 
she would need no assistance except what 
he, himself, could render. 

This employment demanded early hours 
in the morning and late hours in the even¬ 
ing. So laborious an existence kept them 
too tired to be agreeable. When the wife 
made an earnest appeal for additional 





BE WELL MANAGED 


73 


help she was refused, and it was then for 
the first time she spoke sharp words to her 
husband. 

Smarting under the sting of his wife’s 
words, wearied with work, and almost 
tired of life, Farmer Tucker resolved 
that he would go somewhere for rest and 
recreation, and finally decided to go to 
Chautauqua. 

Mr. Johnson, a neighbor, having had 
considerable experience in the dairy busi¬ 
ness, was employed to deliver daily to the 
patrons the products of the dairy, and one 
of Johnson’s daughters was engaged to 
stay with Mrs. Tucker and assist her 
during the absence of her husband. 

After an all-night’s ride on the limited 
express Farmer Tucker found himself at 
the opening exercises of the New York 
Chautauqua. He had never before seen 





74 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


such a spacious auditorium or so large an 
assembly. It seemed to him all too won¬ 
derful to be real. 

John B. Gough was the first speaker in¬ 
troduced to the audience, and he began his 
lecture by telling one of his inimitable 
stories. 

“A young married man who wished to 
obtain a divorce from his wife,” said Mr. 
Gough, “ called upon a lawyer and stated 
his case. The lawyer, seeing that there 
was no foundation for a divorce, said to 
his client, 4 Go back home and commence 
courting your wife as you did before mar¬ 
riage, and continue it for two weeks. At 
the end of that time come again and tell 
me the result of your courtship; and if 
you then want a divorce, I will see what 
I can do for you.’ Before the time had 
expired,” said Mr. Gough, 44 the young 





BE WELL MANAGED 


75 


husband returned and said to the lawyer, 
4 Your advice works like a charm. I want 
no divorce.’ ” 

At this point, Farmer Tucker, who had 
been listening with intense interest, said 
to himself, almost audibly, “ I’ll bet my 
bay mare that plan wouldn’t work on 
Jane.” When the lecture ended he could 
recall no part of it except the story. 

He went out with merry parties sailing 
on the lake. In the auditorium he listened 
to joyful music, vocal and instrumental, 
but all the time he could see overworked 
Jane looking at him with reproachful 
eyes, and could hear her bitter words. 

At the end of the third day Farmer 
Tucker decided to return home and try 
the lawyer’s plan upon his wife, in order 
to prove its inefficacy in her case. He 
arrived home on Saturday, and on Sun- 





76 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


day morning, as was his custom, he drove 
with his wife to church in town. His wife 
always remained after service to teach the 
Bible-class, while he usually drove home 
alone and left her to walk. On this occa¬ 
sion he unhitched the bay mare, took his 
seat in the buggy, and was about to start 
for home, when he recalled his purpose to 
try the lawyer’s plan of courting his wife 
as he had done before marriage. After 
a period of meditation he said to himself, 
“It is really embarrassing for a married 
man to begin again to court his wife. I 
feel confident, too, that in our case it will 
not prove a success.” While he thus so¬ 
liloquized, the Bible-class was dismissed, 
and as his wife passed through the gate 
out of the church-yard he called, “ Hello 
there, Jane, it’s as cheap riding as walk¬ 
ing—better get in and ride.” She sup- 





BE WELL MANAGED 


77 


posed that he had been detained by some 
one. As he remained seated while she 
climbed into the buggy, it did not occur 
to her to thank him. Again, to himself, 
he said, “ She did not even thank me for 
waiting.” 

Undaunted, however, by this seeming 
want of appreciation, he entered into con¬ 
versation with her, on the way, and found 
her inclined to be agreeable. 

As the days went by she noted with 
pleasure that his brief outing had wrought 
a wonderful transformation. Towards 
the close of the week he said to her, 
“ Neighbor Johnson has made me a fair 
offer for our dairy stock. Do you think 
we would better sell?” 

“ That matter,” said she, “ belongs to 
your department of our affairs, and I 
prefer to leave it entirely to your judg¬ 
ment.” 





78 


THE COUPLE SHOULD 


On Saturday afternoon, he informed 
his wife that he had closed the contract 
with Johnson for the sale of the dairy. 
At this she expressed satisfaction. 

Sunday morning the wife had half a 
mind to ask her husband to wait after ser¬ 
vice for her, but she felt inclined to believe 
he would do so without the asking. 

When the service closed the husband 
took his seat in the buggy and the wife 
went to her Bible-class. She afterwards 
confessed that while teaching the class 
she turned her eyes often to see if the bay 
mare’s head was still in sight. 

As the wife was coming through the 
gate the husband alighted from the buggy 
and said to her, “ I’m waiting for you, 
Jennie”—Jennie was his pet name for her 
in the early days of their married life. 

He assisted her to a seat, and as she 





BE WELL MANAGED 


79 


brushed a tear from her cheek she said, 
“John, it is so nice to have you wait for 
me.” 

Seeing the tears, he said, tenderly, “ I 
did not think, Jennie, that you would care 
so much.” 

“ I did not mind the walk,” said she, 
“ but it is so nice to have you think of me 
in this way.” 

As Farmer Tucker drove slowly home¬ 
ward he said to his wife, “ Jennie, for 
several days I have been thinking about 
the terrible blunder I have made in our 
married life. If you will only for¬ 
give-” 

“ I am only too glad to forgive you,” 
said she, not allowing him to complete the 
sentence. “ I, too, must ask your for¬ 
giveness, John, for the fault has not been 
all yours.” 






COUPLE SHOULD BE WELL MANAGED 


80 


“ I am ready to forgive, if I can think 
of anything that needs to be forgiven,” 
said he. 

The couple then and there plighted 
again their faith, each to the other, this 
time with warmer ardor and stronger love 
than when they stood before witnesses at 
the marriage altar. 

Later, children were born to them to 
bless their home, and these made the love 
of the father and mother broader and 
deeper and more tender. 

“ Let fools spurn Hymen’s gentle power; 
We, by experience, know 
That marriage, rightly understood, 

Gives to the tender and the good, 

A paradise below.” 


THE END 
































, APR 141905 





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